the ulitmate guide.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005
1:30:00 AM

Meet Jenny & Jessica, 2 silly little girls whose over Singapore for a visit.
And they'll be bunking in my house! Based solely on the short little trip on the cab, I guess it must be truely a totally experience to be brought up & around the world, studying at Boarding Schools & just exploring endless wonders of unimaginable/imaginable boundaries & being given the freedom of individualism. Ah. The hands of Westernization. The personality speaks louder & stronger in a sense, yah?

Was enjoying the conversation with them, along with my sisters, just constantly nagged at incessantly by my Mum who insisted we were too loud... Sigh. All along the way, conservative culturistic characterism of Chinese. I ain't totally against it... but I really dislike it WHEN, especially, it steps into the picture where this form of conservativity should have been reserved. Been there, experience that, & I just hope this phenomenon will just dissipating.

Like thanks, there She goes again... just freakingly switching off the modem to my computer.
Someone, please tell her that I FRIGGINLY HATE IT when she does that!

And anyhows, the 2 sisters came by from GuangZhou along with my Dad. So meaning, Dad's back from China! Yay! Been male-less for 2 weeks or so already, even going into Malaysia by self-transport the weekend before. Pretty much the normal an experience I feel... but Mum was so affected by the overpowering feminisitic presence, as though males are essential necessary for survival even in developed countries of Singapore & Malaysia. Like... definitely not to the extent of rape or robbery or both the extent for sure? While there are certainly reserves that will exterminates the total absence of such misfortunate occurences, guess I somehow felt that she shouldn't have been so panicky over the matter. After all, she's got a Tom-Boyish female here & 2 Tae-kwon-do black belt gonna be daughters alongside her.

Anyhows... really hope Dad's much happier and all for now. At least, I really hope he doesn't just start engaging in endless stories of how the hosts, Uncle John & his (millionaire) friends have endowed him with such great warmth & hospitality, how wonderful it was to be there & all ... that he will just continue being submerged in visions & surrealism of a HOLIDAY BREAK that was well spent, in the arms of the China tyrants. I really hope so ... The economy's really horrible in here, probably as well as all other countries, & I guess I am just as glad that we're still having SUSTAINABLE incomes & all, kudos' to Mum's detailed & thoughtful planning. Its just always Dad... who is half the time in a child-like fervour, getting into heated arguments that have no traceable amounts of sparks & forever wallowing in self pity. Seriously, I've always & nearly & wished I could just smack him & make him stare at reality in the crude, REAL manner, but resort of non-violent means of counselling talk.

Yea, that for the matter, I am deadpan serious that I ain't no good at talk. In fact, maybe I am really just NOT good in anything, anything at all! For that, it'll be another matter altogether ... but yeah, back to Dad. Anyhows, the counselling sessions are sort of blended into the chat sessions I have with Dad whenever I gave up studying or on the journeys to school. OFtern... the depth of the wallowing is just damn friggin deep that I'll just give it up on counselling for that part. And sometimes, I'll be so swayed by the emotional disparities that I'll be affected & start submerging in self-pity...

Perhaps I wasn't even meant to be like that Dad-Counsellor. I mean, like, yeah I may be some student councillor in school...but that doesn't mean I'll be cool at counSELLing or worse still, counsel my dad who probably knows me alot more clearer than what I know of him. Oh wells.. but one thing for sure, even from this trip... he's STILL AS hot-tempered.

And for that, I really cannot stand it.
Fifth uncle & aunt-in-law went to the extra mile to drive us from our home to the Airport, taking off precious family time & rest periods just to ensure our safety & convenience sake, forsaking their own conveniences. Second aunt came by too, to welcome Dad's arrival & the two Papau New Guinea native girls. Thats what I call sincerity. Simple gestures that speaks a thousand words.

Anyway, Dad's flight was delayed.. it was some sort of transit flight, so basically its kinda a cumulative kind of delay. Delay in China, & later on by the wet monsoon rain in Bangkok. Oohs, and my uncle so graciously bought tonnes of Ritter Sports chocolate [which I was early exclaiming oh-so-loudly about (: ] & offered us !! We had like the scrumptious Yoghurt & Rums&Raisins flavoured chocolates circulating around, it was nice, you know, the family sharing sort of feeling, a certain stint thats been finally resurfacing. (:

Anyway, as I was saying, we were waiting for the delayed flight, plane landed, & Dad took eons to come out... with all the Thai passengers all out of the luggage bagging zone already. He looked so rejunvenated, so refreshed & the 2 girls, confidence & a unique wave of air oozed around them. Caught up, hugged & did all the things you would do whilst finally getting to see your loved one after he was gone for a long period of time.

And simply cause the luggage was a tad too much... Uncle's car couldn't possibly fit the luggage. Yet, they were really kind-spirited enough to want to help. And somehow Dad just started throwing his spastic tantrums again & hurried & looked for coaches to send us home. And ya, its a pity, my language abilities are of a very small calibre, I couldn't exactly pen down what he did exactly, but if given the authority or chance, it would definitely launch me into another smack across the face. Sigh. Rude, I know... & I still do respect him for being Dad, and that's probably why, till this age, I haven't done so yet. The very least he could do, was to at least thank them for coming. But did he? Hell no.

I am just farkingly irritated with his ill-breedness.
And his delusional concept.

YUCKS.

Sigh. What happened to the real him mans?
Submerged into ... surrealism.

There goes the Mum again.
Like she just dont freakingly allow me chances to vent.
Damn. WHATEVER.
She & her unappriopiate reasons.

I dont want to lead her life.
FUCK.

Going off to my little den.
Hate assumptions.
YUCKS.

<3 me if youu dare-`