Had a thought-provoking & hella lots of digressive thoughts trip back Malaysia. Hmm. But before I go on into that, let me digress a while lahh huhs. So...

:: Digression ::
I am most probably going to see Jiamin soon laters!!! Hahahs. Kang, Mingjie, Jiam going over Steffi's place for Mahjong laters! Steffi stays near me, & I stay near her, & though today's agenda was supposed to be i-shall-start-on-my-homework-now-&-try-finishing-it-&-be-a-good-girl-&-stay-at-home-to-slack-around-instead-of-running-around-town-or-school-or-the-neighbouring-areas-day, but nevermind, I will still be AROUND home what right? And whilst they play their mahjong away, maybe I could resist the temptation to play & hide at one corner to do my work & pop by at their breaks to see whose on winning streak & perhaps let my lucky presence bless them? Hahas. Whee~ I am excited lahhh!! Hahahs. Thank god I made the choice to stay at home instead of going down to SIR. WHEE~~ Going over, going over. *** jumps around *** Hmm, but what do I tell my mum? Ehh... will figure later.


Uhh, I am getting super crappy. Anyways,
Below that... its an uber messy entry.
Not for reading, yupps...
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Yeah, went back to Malaysia (AGAIN) on Day 2 night of OGL workshop again, YAH, again. Rather sickening eh, went back to make the international passports, without that I'll totally be forced OUT of Singapore & be stranded in Malaysia, void of my normal life & all... but on the other hand, I'll be using Ringgit though, which I still have quite alot of it, & can get stuffs c-h-e-a-p! :) Anyways, things were slow, Malaysian Immigration centre's super duper slow lahh, unlike the efficient Singapore Immigration's, yeah, the officers there are freaking rude & the place's freaking cramped & there's wierd sales going on in there & the toilets can't be flushed well & stuff... yada yada, you get the idea? Thats Malaysia for you. But on the flip side, there's really great food in there, the Chinese are generally really friendly & sincere & stuffs, then loads of cheap things you can get in there, & can always find most of my relatives in there :) just that, the area span is a little huge huh.

ANYWAY, my cousin's daughter... my "niece" came over to da house, & she's super-uber-duper-CUTE! Just like those Precious Moments figurines that are forever so super nice & precious & yes, only for the eyes & not for the ownership cause they are super duper expensive, too. Anyhows, it was pretty comforting to have her over, she's sucha dear I tell you. Her eyes are super duper mesmerizing, think she'll grow up to be some pretty lady thats going to be mesmerizing every guy & girl in town when she's gonna be a teenager. Whee~ Jamie... was one of the lovely names I wanted to name my own child with, but nevermind, this Jamie's such a pretty little thing :) my cousin's pretty pretty too, & her little one soooo duper pretty.. envious, envious. :X The cute little squiggly wriggly bobbly huge star-eyed niece! :D

Anyhows, thier visit was long enough for babycare-sharing & saw through the whole process, tried to help out a little, spoke to Angel, ooh, my *holdsbreath* shopping & swimming & bitching & eating & sleeping & pigging & moviemarathoing & hair & beauty & manicure & pedicure & whatnots-tonnes of stuffs partner! :) The days in M'sia consisted of the endurance of naggings by my mother, who could really pull off as the most eloquent speaker in any certain debate scene whenever it concerns topics related to Parenting...& had some hilarious chats with my uncle & aunt & my family at dinner...

Its seriously not easy bringing up a child, right from the start of pregnancy, the mother has got to endure lots of hormonal shifts that brings along emotional swings & stuffs, & gaining unwanted fats that deposit in the adipose cells that swells menacingly, & forbidden to eat this & that, & the list goes on... The birth process is even worse, having your *eh-hmm* ripped, in a way & all the blood & gross stuffs...the placenta & what nots & of course the excruitating pain that comes along with it that you'll remember it for years & your whole entire life... but being a mother, the wails of the newborn seems to wipe away & cleanse away all those sufferings she had during the 9 months & the childbirth.

Thereafter, the consequences of childbearing, all those ugly fats & scars & medical fees & hurtful tinges when the child feeds & all ... Then having to wake up in the middle of the night to feed the little one, having the attention all onto the little thing when one's attention's span was never so focused before, nurture her, nutritional-wise, getting food & stuffs, adhering to her needs, looking out for her every now & then cause she can't speak, but just gurggle away. And all the weariness is forgotten for the split second when the little baby smiles or grins or chuckles away or the sight of her sleeping soundly is just so serene...so peaceful...so comforting.

& the baby grows into an infant then into a toddler, starts walking & running around, & the parents/nanny got to chase around her, the agility outgrowing the caregiver at times, wearing them out incessantly, the incessant wails & screams & tantrums, the food spitting out, the diaper-changing & all, & yet the parents persevere on, never giving up on this little sweet, but burden-ish thing they brought into the world, giving the little one the very best care they could afford, they could give. The toddler grows older to be schooled, & becomes mischeivious & getting involved in acts that you wouldn't know whether to laugh or to cry at, doing embarassing stuffs that makes you really clueless & speechless to react to & of course, trying out stunts that you'd wish they'd never could know of, controversially of which could never happen cause of the mass media & prevalence of sadistic cartoons...

off to school, then to all the messes the child gets into, constantly taking the discipline into their owns hands, with those menacingly looking canes & with every scoldings & punishments & whackings comes the stabs through the parents' hearts... the disappointments etches on their "stern" faces and when the child gets into the puberty years, its even harder, the control over them, & when so much effort & love & care & concern has been placed into the upbringing of the child, the child just simply loves to backlash whatever the parents lecture/ nag at for, smashing their delicate crystal like hearts into millions of splinters.

And yes, I am that child. Uber guilty of being the unfillal one. I swear I am going to change but I guess its going to be hard... really hard, I am alyssa & my middle name's rude. So... I'll try, try really hard, & I do hope my parents somehow will simmer their anger & let bygones be bygones.

Urgh, this is such a messy entry.